My Chaotic Realm

I entered 2025 carrying more than I admitted. Stress I had normalized. Pain I had minimized. Stories about myself that no longer fit—but hadn’t yet been set down.   This was not the year everything changed. This was the year I changed how I listened . I learned that my body was not betraying me; it was telling the truth long before my mouth could.   I stopped asking What is wrong with me? and began asking What do I need to stay whole? I did not escape the systems that exhaust me, but I built buffers, boundaries, and language. I practiced choosing enough over everything . I honored my creativity not as output, but as remembrance — through essays, vignettes, journaling-as-ritual, and the slow, cosmic redrawing of my life’s Etch-a-Sketch.   I reclaimed nourishment: food as care, rest as necessary, ritual as grounding. I marked time not just by tasks completed, but by what I built with my hands and what I consecrated with intention. I allowed myself to be seen. I let s...

If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next... Make you believe, make you forget... Today's random reading reminded me that Universal Law is impartial. It gives me anything that I believe . It throws me garbage or roses, based on the energy that I put forth. I am the one in charge and I must accept this and -at times- stand alone in doing so. I thought that tied in rather nicely with this morning's song. I can't walk in water, I wont always be right, I can't tell you what is next, and I don't have the answers for anyone except myself. And that is the only person's problems that I need to fix. Maybe forgetting is the easiest way, but it will not solve the issues that require my attention. Those require change, and that is up to me... and only me. With all of that said, the card is a dragonfly hovering over a vase of flowers. Rubber stamped vase & flowers, colored with JellyRoll pens, and a 3D word sticker & dragonfly. In many cultur...

... if living is without you... :-) oh the things I wake up with on Wednesdays. Speaking of waking up.. it is a BEAUTIFUL day in Central Texas. How do I know this when I have not even been outside? Becuase I woke up without a migraine. Priorities, you know. This card was a lot of fun... DSP on black cardbase, embossed solid yellow piece and sued ribbon & punches & a sticker. And, just like someone I know... it is "So Sweet" . And, made 2 more cards & a deco for Raquel last night. Tonight is sorting financial records for Austin RCG and then Thursday is back to making cards. I am enjoying the card making, in spite of the stress of having to "produce". I just need to continue the ongoing struggle to keep my life (and calendar) from filling up with things that-while enjoyable-are taking up chunks of my time that I want to devote to other things. Priorities.. I know. And lately I have two that I actually WANT to make time for. Stay tuned.

TYPICAL MORNING @ Spirit Stone Sanctuary goes like this 5:50-6:10am Climb the StairMaster; 6:10-6:30am shower & get ready for work; 6:30-6:45am pack lunches, feed cats, feed fish (NOT to cats); 6:45am-7am fill dog's water bucket in kennel & scoop poop; 7am pick up 2 neighbor kids & head out 7:15am both kids dropped off at school & I head to work... 8am arrive at work! The good news? I did not do as this morning's song suggested and "Crash". Truth be told.. I feel pretty energetic for a Weds morning! Maybe there is something to this walking my way to health... i got the message last night that it was time to stop rationalizing and start changing unhealthy patterns of behaviour. . . including my reluctance to add physical activity to my day. Taxes are done so all that is left tonight is walking the dogs and making some valentine's day cards for a few special folks.

over at Highlowaha, the 18th of every month (bc it was created on that day) is devoted to spending time reflecting on our high, low, and aha from the past month. Mine are: HIGH:: finally bought a chest freezer... need one because I cannot eat most canned goods, boxed meals, etc so we buy fresh & freeze a lot of stuff. LOW:: realizing that I forgot to pay the 1st installment of my tuition (bc I bought a freezer, maybe? LOL) and will have to pay it in full 9-1-9. AHA:: Things are hard here, with no rain for almost 3 years. But the hard work is worth it and it goes easier when shared with partner, neighbors, etc. I've gotten to know even more about my neighbors as we chat over water hoses! And, tonight is Bath Night foe the dragons, watering the front yard, and working on some ATCs for a yahoo art group that swaps via snail mail. Wheeeeee!!!

Communities change, struggle, grow, change some more. Two communities I am in are in the midst of that process and others (who don't accept that things change or die) are having some growth issues of their own. Understandable. Some wonder if my life would be "smoother" ie:less hectic if I would change my nick from chaotic to something a little more staid. I tell them that "chaotic" is more than an name... it is a lifestyle. I have arrived at the point in my life where I am okay with things changing. I define the essence of chaos as the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions." The key word is INITIAL. Because conditions will (and DO) change. Life is about change. And the sooner people learn to grow through the changes in their lives, the happier (IMHO) they will be. Life is not about control. It is about living, learning, loving, laughing... and sometimes limping through things the best I can. So, this is a timely card... black/white base, a ...

alrighty... a wasted trip to pick up an Rx that called & said it was ready (it was not) so got home 15 minutes later than normal... and on Tuesday of all nights! For those of you local, you know Tuesday is BATH NIGHT!! So, and hour later I have 3 dragons bathed; all 6 lizards have had dishes picked up & habitats tidied. Last one in the tub is Indra, my swimmer. So he gets to stay in longer :-) to play. He has MBD (metabolic bone disease) so he does not support his own weight easily... but in the water he is KING! Mark Spitz may have been his daddy, who knows. This is him after his bathtime... also, on the greeting card side of things, I have taken pictures of last night's 3 cards "By the Sea", "Art Washes Away" and "Dream" so will work those into the alphabetic posts as soon as I get them off the camera and into the computer.