well... been going thru some depression, some grieving, some anger. Am not angry at people, per se, but at losses. And it dawns on me I do not know how to LOSE people. I know how to leave them, especially before they leave me. .. defensive mechanism. When I lost Danny, I did not feel I could grieve that loss so I set it aside. My friends did not much care for him or his being in my life this time around... they thought I 'd given him too many chances already. But love does not count chances. Love simply is. Then, losing David 47 days later has just sunk me. I cry, which is not something I did for Danny. Maybe the 2 are rolling up into 1 and that is why grief has set in this time, why I cannot just set it aside. "Snowball" effect or some such. I feel, now, like something was taken from me... a Dream. One I’ve kept tucked carefully away so no one would see it. Now the losses have wounded me so deep that you can't see my pain. I am going to have to fully grieve thes…
Showing posts from July 10, 2005
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Well... started off weekend helping Pam get her room taken care of... then helped Amy solve an Excel propblem... then the real fun began. :-) I had met someone recently that invited me for coffee... never a wrong option! Believe it or no, we spent TWO HOURS over coffee...OMG! Was not strained, which was nice. .. chat flowed without those "embarrassing moments" of silence. Not that I can BE silent... so says my mom. Went home Saturday night and started on another book...this one is "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown. Sunday was leisurely since son was away... slept late, cooked a good breakfast, then met w/Elizabeth to go to Austin for an area business meeting. Got that done and was home by 6pm to cook brisket and potatoes for dinner with my son! A blessed peaceful weekend... I look forward to those. Saturday the 16th is art day. Who knew I had a life after motherhood?!?!