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Showing posts from July 10, 2005

not at all uplifting...

well... been going thru some depression, some grieving, some anger. Am not angry at people, per se, but at losses. And it dawns on me I do not know how to LOSE people. I know how to leave them, especially before they leave me. .. defensive mechanism. When I lost Danny, I did not feel I could grieve that loss so I set it aside. My friends did not much care for him or his being in my life this time around... they thought I 'd given him too many chances already. But love does not count chances. Love simply is. Then, losing David 47 days later has just sunk me. I cry, which is not something I did for Danny. Maybe the 2 are rolling up into 1 and that is why grief has set in this time, why I cannot just set it aside. "Snowball" effect or some such. I feel, now, like something was taken from me... a Dream. One I’ve kept tucked carefully away so no one would see it. Now the losses have wounded me so deep that you can't see my pain. I am going to have to fully grieve thes…

weekend results

Well... started off weekend helping Pam get her room taken care of... then helped Amy solve an Excel propblem... then the real fun began. :-) I had met someone recently that invited me for coffee... never a wrong option! Believe it or no, we spent TWO HOURS over coffee...OMG! Was not strained, which was nice. .. chat flowed without those "embarrassing moments" of silence. Not that I can BE silent... so says my mom. Went home Saturday night and started on another book...this one is "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown. Sunday was leisurely since son was away... slept late, cooked a good breakfast, then met w/Elizabeth to go to Austin for an area business meeting. Got that done and was home by 6pm to cook brisket and potatoes for dinner with my son! A blessed peaceful weekend... I look forward to those. Saturday the 16th is art day. Who knew I had a life after motherhood?!?!