My Chaotic Realm

Well, it is now Saturday evening and I am in N Austin. A friend of mine has some Word.doc issues, so I came up after the "Art Day" to lend some support. Art Day was great!! Pam was there, and Elizabeth, and Gayle, and Rhonda (of COURSE, it is HER house!!). A newbie braved I35 and came as well... I believe her name was Ava. Really interresting (and funny) lady. I worked on some of my mandalas for Rhonda's6/6 swap that the due date is looming for, as well as some polymer clay embellishments for the "Create With Clay" swap I am hosting on ATC World (see link to left). My son used his college fund to purchase a set of golf clubs today... that is okay, it is not up to me at this point, he IS 18, after all. Just means he'll have to start working more in order to pay for his second semester. I had set aside enough for his Freshman year @ Texas State, but if he insists on spending it on other things, he'll have to fund the rest of his Freshman year himself. Sigh...

Went to see 'Mr & Mrs Smith' last night w/Jayce.. great movie... laughed out loud in several places. And before that, I learned how to fold origami cranes! That was really neat. Now working on cards (greeting) that are 2D when you close them. Some nifty things in the world you can learn, if you just go looking! Making a stop at Michael's after work for more paper. I have been at work now since 8am... phone has rung 3 times, had 1 walk in customer, and I have caught up on my swap listings (both as a player & as a host). Now on to my 2nd cup of coffee! A group of local artists has an ART DAY the 3rd Saturday monthly, so I will go there from here. Which is nice, because I brought the stuff I want to work on later, and am playing with it now! They PAY me for this...an you imagine? Of course, it did require getting to bed at a reasonable hour, getting up & dressed, and staying here for 4 hours... and I do manage to get filing caught up, loose ends tied off, etc. All ...

these were for a swap making 6 cards using the same image...  

Life is a theatre. Invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships/friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama, or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. You cannot change the people around you. But you...

I did not manage to post here last night... had a REALLY awesome evening at Annalyn's last night from 6-8pm, but there was (here's a surprise) construction on I35 & took me over an hour to get home. I was so inspired by the women last night that I came home & wrote 8 pages in my journal. Just something so awesome about being able to share on such a gut level with women that HEAR me & RESPECT me, and whom I feel the same about. Late to bed, but was the best I've slept since David died. Went to be KNOWING I was going to be alright through all this. One lyric keeps running through my mind... "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." So, like David has set off on his adventure, I am ready for mine.

I did it.. I finally did my workout... got a video from my Weight Watcher's Leader 2 weeks ago but never got around to using it, then David died and it was hard to do anything but cry, much less jog. But I have made a commitment to myself to do it at least twice a week. Damn, David was only a year older than me (okay, 15 months, but still). Kinda a shock. Today was a new start... I am trying to send him loving thoughts every time I start to feel grief sneaking up on me. So far, it seems to be working... gone a whole 24 hours without my eyes leaking. Have decided to pause every day @ 2:30pm (when his graveside ceremony was held) and send positive loving energy out into the world. Would be neat if everyone did the very same thing. The idea behind this blog will be to just journal a bit every day online. I already write quite a bit every morning, but do not do the online thing until I get home from work. Morning focus is COFFEE! So, worked out, added a pic or two..my day is done!

Here are 2 of my "creative blocks"... Callie in the fore, Abigale in the rear. 

Me! 

Well, today I am listening to the CD my son got me for my birthday.... 3 Doors Down "17 Days" I am finding it very poignant and uplifting in this time of emotional distress.... funny how I seem to live through the music I listen to...

Well... it has been exactly one week since David died... he was my light, and he will be missed... I can see him now, sleeveless denim shirt, cutoffs, Nikes & ankle socks... he has that grin meaning he is up to no good..and that special gleam in his eye... I do not know what adventure the next life holds for him but I bet they are not ready!! David... you are always in my heart and my love will follow you across eons...

well, believe it or not, it only took me TWO TRIES to create this blog..thanks to Mandalin... otherwise I might have been here ALL day... so much for actually working today!!