Giving myself Grace

As I look back now on 2024, using the post from an art group I am in as well as my blog posts here,  I can see that 2023 was the year of "NOT according to plan" and 2024 was spent "Regrouping". The recent art group post asked 5 things: 

1) What were our plans for 2024, 2) What did we want to do artistically, 3) What did we learn about ourselves in 2023, 4) What was our art focus for 2024? and 5) What was our word for 2024?

My plan for 2024 was to protect my peace, which might mean finding a different job.   And I did that, and I am glad, even though it meant taking a severe pay cut. I was approved for an ACA health plan and SNAP so both of those things are helping bridge the income gap.

Artistically speaking, in 2024 I planned to continue de-stashing so probably just making greeting cards and journaling.  I did journal most every day (I do so to remain sane) and I made greeting cards. Still behind on the de-stash but not as overwhelmed as I was.

Did I learn something about myself in 2023?  that it is okay to stop in the middle of it all and do what I need to do in order to take care of myself.  And that is why I was able to make the decision to quit a job and keep my peace of mind as well as protect my health.

of all the things I can do artistically, if I had to choose one of them to really focus on which would it be? and what color combo?  I want to get back into doing more art journaling. It makes me feel good and I don't do it often enough. My color combo this year seemed to be blue and green, colors of the ocean. And I did some art journal pages. I wanted to do one a week but, in my life, that was not realistic. I tried for at least one a month, and I did 16 pages total.

Will you choose a word of the year to focus your creativity on?  if I had to it would probably be stress-free.  And because I decided not to stress myself with timelines on art, I managed to do it when I could and did not beat myself up for the times I just couldn’t get there.

Where does that leave me now, as I look back on 2024 and prepare for 2025?

I see that 2024 taught me it was okay to stop and check to see if I was headed in the direction I WANTED to go, or in the direction I THOUGHT I should go.

Instead of resting and recovering when I got out of the hospital in May of 2023, I took a job that I thought I should because it paid really well. And I did pay off some things. But it took a huge toll on my health. Taking a job in June of 2023 because the money was good may have seemed to be a sound idea, but in reality, what my body needed was time to heal. The error of my choice became quite clear when, in November, I started being harassed by an RN. I went through the proper channels and filed with HR, and when the RN found out I had filed, the harassment escalated. I decided that my income was not worth my sanity or my safety so I started a wind-down strategy to prepare for my next step... finding a job I enjoyed and that had no stress or drama but paid less money. 

In February 2024, I was given the results of the HR investigation. Yes, I had a case, and enough evidence to back it up. No, they would not be terminating the RN. Turns out, I was the first person to actually file a complaint. The 3 women before me chose to quit rather than jeopardize future employment. The woman who was there with me and also being harassed was a single mother of 3 and "could not afford to lose her job" so she stayed silent. I get it, I do... but damn, it should not be that way. And so... I quit. 

The next day, I applied for a part-time job at Office Depot and was hired that day. The stress is minimal, the pace is easy, the environment is fun, and the discount is freaking fabulous!! The hours have allowed me to travel, get back into my daily practices, and spend time making art in one form or another. I do not stress when I drive to work. And the hours are so much better. No more 3am alarms! 

My supply destashing is mostly complete, and my art room has been reset. I turned the spare room into a meditation space so all of my witchy tools, my rocks, and my journals and books all got moved to the room next to my "art office" Artistically, I want to keep the goal of doing art journal pages when time and motivation allow, and continue making greeting cards & ATCs. Personally, I plan to continue meditating and journalling daily, checking in with the "vibe" around me, and seeing how I can best work with the energy I have available to me at such times as I can do so.