Judgement Day
Well... I have pondered this for a while now... and I have decided not to confront the ex-in-laws. You see, Rebel's patriarchal grandunits have decided that I am no longer welcome at family functions. Good!! I don't enjoy going to the "Once Annual Dinner" anyways. I go because Rebel does not want to go alone, and I take a friend every year because I don't want to sit alone whilst Rebel mixes and mingles with kinfolk I really have no interest in.
But this issue is really twofold::
1) they judged me , and 2) they made Rebel the emissary instead of having the decency to tell me themselves that I was "persona non grata". What bothers me most is that I raised my child to do exactly the opposite of what they have done... passed judgment. I want Rebel to accept people as they are and expect the same acceptance from them, regardless of the issue. I also taught to never shame another. The love Rebel has for them kept mum anything that might have been said to them about them using their grandchild as a tool for their passing of judgment. Rebel was ashamed of their behaviour... I am older and understand how they could do this. But, as Rebel seems to be handling it well now, I will leave it alone for the time being. Should it begin to eat away at him somehow, I will then let them know exactly what I think of it all.
To take the word of someone that saw me for a few minutes once over the last Yuletide without ever actually talking to me about it... I find this all rather sad more than anything. That is not how I brought up my child, and I would have thought better of them as people. Funny... find out you don't really know inlaws after all... I'd have thought they'd have verified random comments before banishing me. Maybe I am just not to be tolerated now that the cherished grandchild is almost of age & all that?
However, on the plus side, I find it gratifying that Rebel did not feel a need to explain my situation, defend my actions, straighten them out, etc. I am a firm believer in letting others do as they will... it is not up to us to force others to see the light. Because, deep down, I think if they really wanted to KNOW the circumstances behind what was said by the person passing on misinformation, they would have asked me directly.
And so it goes.....
But this issue is really twofold::
1) they judged me , and 2) they made Rebel the emissary instead of having the decency to tell me themselves that I was "persona non grata". What bothers me most is that I raised my child to do exactly the opposite of what they have done... passed judgment. I want Rebel to accept people as they are and expect the same acceptance from them, regardless of the issue. I also taught to never shame another. The love Rebel has for them kept mum anything that might have been said to them about them using their grandchild as a tool for their passing of judgment. Rebel was ashamed of their behaviour... I am older and understand how they could do this. But, as Rebel seems to be handling it well now, I will leave it alone for the time being. Should it begin to eat away at him somehow, I will then let them know exactly what I think of it all.
To take the word of someone that saw me for a few minutes once over the last Yuletide without ever actually talking to me about it... I find this all rather sad more than anything. That is not how I brought up my child, and I would have thought better of them as people. Funny... find out you don't really know inlaws after all... I'd have thought they'd have verified random comments before banishing me. Maybe I am just not to be tolerated now that the cherished grandchild is almost of age & all that?
However, on the plus side, I find it gratifying that Rebel did not feel a need to explain my situation, defend my actions, straighten them out, etc. I am a firm believer in letting others do as they will... it is not up to us to force others to see the light. Because, deep down, I think if they really wanted to KNOW the circumstances behind what was said by the person passing on misinformation, they would have asked me directly.
And so it goes.....
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