soul tired

There is this line from a '3 DoorsDown' song {"Right Where I Belong"} that keeps running through my head ...
"There's a difference in spending time with me
And killing time while I'm there
In too many people and too many things
And it makes me feel like hell"

I think I am just tired. Not just sleep tired, but soul tired. My soul hurts today and I don't know how to make it feel any better. I write. I meditate. I macramé. I cry. I make background papers for my cards & stuff. Then I turn around and do it all over again. Not feeling the creative muse as of late, but making the paper keeps me busy at least. I think today just rough because Mandalin was offline all day (we chat at work) and then I came home to empty house and then I went out with friends but was not really "present". Hard to be the 'life of the party' when I feel like I am bleeding inside. Oh, and to top off everything else this last month or so, my ivy is not reviveable (not that that is a real word, but you get the point). The combo of heat and lack of water got to it. only I would cry over killing my ivy plant. Sigh...
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