My Chaotic Realm

I entered 2025 carrying more than I admitted. Stress I had normalized. Pain I had minimized. Stories about myself that no longer fit—but hadn’t yet been set down.   This was not the year everything changed. This was the year I changed how I listened . I learned that my body was not betraying me; it was telling the truth long before my mouth could.   I stopped asking What is wrong with me? and began asking What do I need to stay whole? I did not escape the systems that exhaust me, but I built buffers, boundaries, and language. I practiced choosing enough over everything . I honored my creativity not as output, but as remembrance — through essays, vignettes, journaling-as-ritual, and the slow, cosmic redrawing of my life’s Etch-a-Sketch.   I reclaimed nourishment: food as care, rest as necessary, ritual as grounding. I marked time not just by tasks completed, but by what I built with my hands and what I consecrated with intention. I allowed myself to be seen. I let s...

Last week, we watched the tide turn. I’m not celebrating Charlie Kirk’s death, but I’m not mourning it either. We can hold two truths at once: sadly, assassinations are happening at all, and also that Kirk died on the altar he built. The right wasted no time blaming the “radical left” before there was even a suspect. And now that evidence shows the shooter was a far-right Nick Fuentes follower—the “your body my choice” guy—it doesn’t matter. What matters is the story they spin. And that story is already being weaponized to go after free speech, opposition, the press, and the right to assemble. The timing couldn’t be better for them. MAGA was splintering over the Epstein files, and even Kirk was veering off script about Epstein and Israel. Now his death stitches the party back together, and his huge following and network slide neatly into Trump’s pocket. Proof? JD Vance literally hosted Kirk’s podcast from his office the very next day. And the fact it all went down the day befor...

We finally made it to the Upper Peninsula! Getting here wasn’t exactly smooth sailing, but hey—that’s part of the adventure, right? Friday night, we pulled the RV up to the house to start packing, and in true “oops” fashion, managed to fry the wiring in the entire living room. Turns out plugging the RV into the outside outlet while the hot tub was still on the same circuit was not our brightest idea. So now the living room is dark and moody. Issue#1 on the now-growing list of things we have to deal with upon our return. Don’t worry—Issues #2 and #3 will make their grand appearances later. We kicked off August 9th bright and early, tackling the usual last-minute scramble: packing the stragglers, taking out the trash, and finishing the dishes. All that domestic hustle before… heading to work. Because apparently vacations don’t start until after the real workday. This was our third adventure in the Itasca. Trip #1, I had to meet her on the road (thanks, work), so I drove the tow car. Tr...

 I looked at my calendar and I see that Mercury will be going retrograde tomorrow. Let me get this communication out before that!   The gravel project around the house—meant to cover a 3-foot perimeter where rain falls from the eaves—has been a bit of a rollercoaster. We initially hired someone to remove the grass along the house, with the clear expectation that they would return to level the area, lay down weed barrier, install edging to contain the gravel, and then pour the rock. Unfortunately, that’s not how things unfolded. In the end, we had to bring in someone else to actually clear the full 3 feet, since the original worker seemed unable to grasp how to use the yardstick we provided. And L has been laying down all the weed barrier and guides herself. And then we began pouring the rock, which turned out to be the easiest part for me. I am 6 weeks post-mishap with my knee, and it is much better, but not able to get down in it yet.   Less than three weeks un...

The weather here has been beautiful lately—overnight lows in the upper 60s and daytime highs barely nudging into the 90s. Living near the water has its perks; there's a steady breeze that makes things feel pleasant overall. We’ve even been able to open the windows some days. And I have been taking my motorcycle out more, even riding it to work some days.  Work at Office Depot is still going well. I do wish it weren’t a full 40 hours a week, but that’s not something I can change at the moment. Thankfully, it’s mostly stress-free—apart from the usual nonsense that comes with retail. Some customers really seem to be trying to wear down my last nerve, and the entitlement levels can be unreal. But not all are bad—some are kind, and some are even grateful, which helps balance things out. I’ve been able to carve out a little time for art on Fridays, which—for now—seems to be consistently one of my two days off. Sundays are my other day off, but those tend to be reserved for family time an...

The Print Manager position came with a substantial raise and a full 40-hour week. My drive is 10 miles/15 minutes. I do not have to get up in the middle of the night anymore to be at work. Even the days I open I do not have to wake before 6am! My employee discount is 30%. And, my GM is is kick-ass and we get along fabulously. So, still loving Office Depot. In other news, my mother-in-law passed the morning of the Mango’s inauguration. L brought some stuff back with her then.  We made a trip up to see her Dad 3.9-12 and picked up a few more of her Mom’s belongings. Well, her dad passed the end of March, not quite 10 weeks after her Mom. So Land her brother had to pack up the apartment. All of this to say our garage is (again) full of things we must sort through. As far as life here….we are tucked in, basically not doing a whole hell of a lot. We participated in the April 5 "Hands Off!" protests, which marked the largest day of public demonstration against Trump during his ...