My Chaotic Realm

Well, is that time of the month again... saw my favorite enigma this morning... handed off Coke, tomato juice, got back a smile that lit up my morning. Must have showed through some tho that I was not feeling my perkiest bc I got a call later this morning inquiring as to my well-being. Sweet. Wonder if Enigma knows just how deeply I care? Probably not, and that is okay by me. . .................. Son giving me flack about my cars... I know he is stressing about his gf moving back home for summer, the end of freshman year, changing his major, stress over his GPA, but damn, give your mom a break, please! He has no plans for today but he wants the car with the stereo JUST IN CASE they want to go to the river or something. GEEZ. Today he is upset with me because I asked for the Caprice back so I could drive it to work today. It's not like I am asking for a lot. .. especially since I pay the gasoline, insurance, maintenance, registration, etc on all 3 cars (I'm the only one with a j...

You've never been to the moon but don't you want to go Under the sea in the volcano You've never looked into my eyes but don't you want to know What the dark and the wild and the different know C ome dance with me now w e'll dance without a care I'm as free as a fire and change is in the air There are some things in my life I'll never understand But they become the force that makes me who I am The song for today... but where most people shied away, my FireChild has stayed, has looked, and wants to know more. Air feeds Fire, Fire consumes Air...then the circle begins again.

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between her work and her play, her labor and her leisure, her mind and her body, her information and her recreation, her life and her religion. She hardly knows which is which. She simply pursues her vision of excellence at whatever she does, leaving others to decide whether she is working or playing. To her, she's always doing both." James Michener

Chaos, with reference to chaos theory, refers to an apparent lack of order in a system that nevertheless obeys particular laws or rules. Today's morning ritual gave me the same message twice: "An obstacle will present an opportunity for something greater to be gained for having transcended it." I have to wonder what part of my life the obstacle will appear.... I do not look at obstacles as "bad things" so it is not a scary thing for me. Obstacles are simply chances for growth. Growth = Change. Chaos = a constant state of change. Hence the nickname :-) It is not JUST an email, folks... it is a LIFESTYLE. I have this thing about not using names or genders on my blog (trying to protect the innocent and all). Hence SpiritWalker & my "phone flinging friend." Today, will add "Geode" to the list. Geode might remember the conversation we had about picking up what APPEARS to be a simple, plain old rock only to turn it over and find it to be a deep...

Well...so far so good...adapting to seeing someone after a long time of "flying solo". It has been noted that I tend to be a bit set in my ways around particular things, like my art space and my bathroom, and having things "picked up". It was also noted that I am flexible about my schedule, my time, meals, and generally everything else. :-) As far as the art space goes...yes...it IS organized to a degree... but I like being able to know where something is when I am in the mood to create with THAT item (I have SO many different mediums). And if you've seen the "chaos" that masquerades as "art" you understand. The bathroom? Well, even my son and I have not shared that particular space for any great length of time. I've had my own for ages. For those of you not already aware, I shower in the dark. I know where my shampoo, my soap, my toothpaste, my facial scrub, all my other "stuff" is when I reach for it. I LIKE it that way. I h...

Well, my co-worker and I were talking on Monday about about our weekends and the people in them, and about how particular themes seem to "pop up" over and over. I mentioned how a particular friend brings up themes for me to delve into. For instance, Sunday evening was 'Control' and inspired the opening chapter of a piece I have titled "Short Story Long." Tuesday was ' Games.' Sadly, I do not think my phone-flinging friend reads my blog, so I don't think there is an awarness of the inspiration I am given as a benefit of our friendship. After hanging up last night - whilst in HEB, no less - a kind soul took pity on my cell phone as I looked at it with a mixture of (I am sure) confusion, anger, awe and utter disbelief & removed it from my possession, placing it on top of my bag of cat chow. Must have had that look on my face again.... Last time I just hurled it across the room. Poor SpiritWalker had to 1) duck, then 2) reinstall the battery...

Well, I picked up a sticker that said "If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life today?" When I mentioned it to someone I count as important, they said "Exactly what I am doing right now." I concurred that I, too, like my life today. If I were to win the lottery, I would not quit my job. I would like to take off work at 2pm, just to give myself a few more hours a day to do some more of the things I like, tho :-). Read, carouse bookstores. Take an art class. Meet friends for an early dinner or coffee. Open mike night at a local poetry reading. I would like to write more, maybe even for someone else to read? Not really sure about that yet. So much of myself comes through in what I write. Anyway, back to the original intent here (I DO tend to meander) ... this person thinks that I am unhappy...that I am presenting a facade of happiness but that underneath I am unhappy and possibly even scared? Well, I took that home and chewed on it for a bit. And...